A day spent with two important people in my life was a bit tricky but memorable. I didn’t expect this day to give me this great impact inside. There’s this guy whom I treasure much, in my heart, and a guy who became one of my best partner.
I never thought that everything that would turn out this way. Never thought that I would realize how I wanted to be cared, to be loved, and to be with someone who appreciates me for who I am. At first I told myself, I would be happy with someone who meets my standards, someone who is confident and with pride. I thought I can handle myself fair enough with someone who would let me do the things I want to do. Then I realized that freedom requires responsibility and independence, and it made me feel alone and hopeless. Every time he opens the door, I remember you opening it for me. Every time I cross the street I remember you beside me blocking away the speeding up cars. And when I’m hungry I remember you asking me what I would like to eat. I can always recall all your laddering questions, the way you laugh at me, the way I feel safe. You know what? I missed you in those hours when I’m not with you. I wish I could find someone who would tell me my spelling isn’t correct, who would buy me sky flakes and water every time my tummy gets acidic.
One thing I can’t get out of my head this time is a realization that the reason behind pushing you away from me is that I doesn’t want to be attached to you. I don’t want to be dependent with your actions. The way you show you care just makes me weak; I don’t want to get used cause I know day will come that it would be difficult for me to let go and forget someone who just made me feel special. Sometimes it’s easier to stop your heart from falling rather than picking up the pieces. You’re definitely special!
Praying that God would bless my decisions may it goes with HIS plans in my life.
